7 Ways I Reduced my Postpartum Anxiety

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Before having my baby, I had been thoroughly warned about baby blues and postpartum depression. The intense feelings of sadness I might experience during the newborn stage and the warning signs of depression that I should look out for,  but no one had told me about postpartum anxiety and the intrusive thoughts that I would experience. 

I had waited 10 months to meet my baby boy and I finally had him in my arms.  He was a piece of my heart that was now out in the world and I felt completely vulnerable. 

You know how they tell you to never go near bear cubs if you see them in the wild, because the mother bear might attack you?  I now understood that mother bear.  It’s like my protective instincts switched on.  My mind was in overdrive with feelings of worry.  Add this to the fact that I gave birth in the middle of a pandemic and the news showed nothing but chaos… the anxiety hit me hard!

You can read more about my postpartum story here. 

Symptoms of postpartum anxiety

Symptoms of postpartum anxiety include:

• Constant feelings of worry or dread
• Intrusive thoughts/ scary thoughts about harm that could come to your baby
• Mind racing
• On edge or easily agitated
• Insomnia
• Hot flashes
• Rapid heartbeat

Why do I have postpartum anxiety?

Anxiety is not necessarily a bad thing.  It actually serves an important purpose. 

As mothers, anxiety makes us aware of our surroundings, cautious of potential dangers, and proactive in caring for our infant, but if anxiety is greatly affecting your stress levels, sleep quality, eating habits, or overall wellness, then it’s something you should address. 

Here are 7 ways I was able to get my postpartum anxiety in check!

1. Sleep

Sleep is so important for your overall mental and physical health.  I know… sleep is a touchy subject because there is a good chance you are not getting much of it with a newborn.  I sure wasn’t! 

I’m not going to give you the advice “sleep when the baby sleeps” because I hated that phrase when I was in the thick of sleep deprivation.  As adults, we can’t sleep for 10 catnaps like a newborn, and the baby’s naptime is the only chance we have to get anything done!  Instead, my advice is to prioritize getting any kind of rest you can.

If someone you trust offers to watch the baby while you nap, take them up on it.  

During at least one of the baby’s naps, place them in their safe sleep space and then lay down and close your eyes.  Even if you aren’t able to sleep, find ways to rest your body and mind. Getting a little rest here and there greatly improved my mood and allowed me to function. 

2. Cut out stimulants

I couldn’t wait to enjoy beer or a glass of wine after a long sober pregnancy.  I also enjoyed my daily cup of coffee.  However, alcohol and caffeine can intensify anxiety.

I was fed up with feeling so on edge all the time.  I made the hard decision to cut out all caffeine and alcohol until my postpartum anxiety improved.

3. Moved my body

Your body is still recovering after birth.  Those first 6-8 weeks postpartum, you should take it easy.  However, light movement and exercise can really help boost your mood. 

Get out the stroller and go outside for a 10-minute walk and breathe in some fresh air.   If you need to stay indoors, do some gentle stretching to release some tension in your body.  Exercise is a proven way to lower stress and anxiety. 

4. Deep breathing 

Sometimes my anxiety would keep me from falling asleep, even when I desperately needed to. My mind would race with scary thoughts.  Sometimes I couldn’t sleep because I knew the baby was going to cry soon and wake me up anyway!  This was all very counterproductive.  Deep breathing helped me clear my mind and reach a state of calm.

One of the simplest deep breathing techniques is the 4-7-8 breath.  Close your mouth and inhale slowly through your nose for four second.  Hold the breath in for seven seconds.  Exhale slowly through your mouth for eight seconds.  Repeat for as many times is needed. 

5. Joined postpartum social networks

Having a newborn during a pandemic was very isolating.  I had no family in the area and I couldn’t visit with friends.  Finding social networks that I could relate to helped me feel less alone. 

Due date groups on Facebook

Due date groups are communities on facebook for expecting mamas with dues dates in the same month. This means everyone in the group will have babies around the same age as you! Being able to connect with other new moms who were experiencing the same life changes was so reassuring!  These groups became a safe space for me to share in the joy, stress, and confusion of new motherhood. 

To find your due date group on facebook, search the month and year of your due date.  For example someone who is due on November 28th, 2021 would search for “November 2021 due date”. Then see what groups come up for you to join!

Followed accounts centered around postpartum mental health. 

Following postpartum psychology accounts were extremely informative. The Instagram accounts that helped me a lot were @psychedmommy and @dralicepsyd. They addressed postpartum anxiety and specifically these “intrusive” or “scary” thoughts. They reassured me that the feelings I was experiencing were more common than I thought and also gave helpful tools to cope with them!

6. Talked to someone

Sometimes when your anxiety is intense you need to speak with someone who is trained to help. If you feel you can’t get your anxiety under control, do not hesitate to speak with someone. Whether it is your doctor or a helpline.  

Here is a resource: Postpartum Support International  https://www.postpartum.net/

There was one day (about 2 months postpartum) I felt trapped and on the verge of an anxiety attack. The coronavirus cases were spiking in my area. I wasn’t getting enough sleep. There were wildfires near my house. The smoke was too severe to go for a walk. I hadn’t stepped foot outside for nearly 10 days! 

I knew I was struggling, but I couldn’t pull myself together.  The next step I took was to call a crisis line. It helped me just to have someone who could listen to me with an open heart. The lady on the phone was able to offer understanding and advice. One of the best pieces of advice she gave me was to “give yourself a ton of grace”. I’ll talk about this further in #7.

7. Gave myself grace.

Often, anxiety is triggered from a strong need to have control. I was trying to be the mom who did it all. I wanted to be a perfect mother for my baby and a helpful, loving partner to my husband. I wanted to cook healthy meals and have a clean house. I wanted to keep my family safe during a pandemic and still go out and experience life. But the thing is: you can’t be all of the things, all of the time!  I had to give myself a break!

When the pressure is too much, it’s okay to let some things go. The house doesn’t have to be clean. You can order delivery today instead of cooking. Sometimes the one thing you need to accomplish in a day is to meet the needs of yourself and your baby! It won’t always be like this and one day it will be easier!